Wow, it has been a while since I actually posted. I mean I write on pieces of paper, in the train, in the office but it doesn’t make it to the blog. Sometimes I don’t see the point, sometimes I know if I say something, people will catch up that I wrote about them and then all hell brakes loose, or ..ehh it doesn’t matter.
Tina has been very nice; she is a sweetheart she has been giving me rides in the past and present to work and from work. Today is going to be much appreciated, cuz it is cold out there. So thank you Tina.
Yesterday I stood on the platform of Bridgeport’s train station and I was pulled at warp speed back into memory lane, home in Transylvania. The wind was brutal and sharp as a Hatori Hanzo samurai sword. Layers of skin felt like they were being sliced of my face. Which wouldn’t be such a bad idea J In my head suddenly I was outside in the cold windy weather, staying for milk, bread, toilet paper, matches, chicken. How we adapt to try to survive. Then my question was how do I try to adapt to this life I have here?
It seems that the people I am attracted to and could fit with, from my point of view we would match, obviously they think otherwise. Now there are the people who want me, but I feel that either I was not their first choice, or that I have nothing in common with them, nor do I find anything from that person appealing. More so I am sort of repulsed by them. Not that I am better then them, but …something about them…just turns me off.
So I was thinking maybe, just maybe ..since I am already miserable alone, why not find a person that wants me, I don’t like, and then I will have a good reason to be miserable?
I don’t know.
It seems that the one I love it is not going to work out at all, so I guess time to move on, I can’t do this one sided thing again.
What else? OK. I turned my old job offer down. I have no regrets doing that. I turned down a lot of money, but it is cool.
Today is Saturday, no bus service, I think I am going to walk to train station, after work.
I have been working out every morning, feels good to do it in the am. I never worked out at 7am before, only from 8-9pm till midnight. When I used to go to Fitness 4000, I would enjoy being there soo much, I would be still swimming at 1am in the morning. Sigh….it was just too expansive after a while.
I am trying to go to the gym in the afternoon also.
I am happy for a change, content. I am longing for being with a woman, but the more I think of …oh whom am I kidding. Ever since I felt the kiss on the side of my face, her skin being soo smooth, lips soft, her scent to melt to, her body so nicely fit into mine, ….I want her. I want to make her moan and scream. I want to see her cum. I want to see her on top of me, watch her body spasm to her multiple orgasms, I want to please her.
I forgot how soft and good it feels to touch a woman’s skin. God she felt good, just by kissing me on the face, I think I had July 4th, Macy’s Fireworks going on inside me. … Sigh…
Anyway, need to go back to work or pretend anyway. Hope you guys have a great weekend.
P.s. I bowled 163 last Sunday…. 163..I was amazed. I shock myself sometimes.
