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I am stuck. Do you ever get stuck? Every word I want to write down, every thought I want to express, ... seems to be stupid, corny, without substance. DO I talk about me? Does anyone want to hear it. Do I know what is going on with me? Not sure.
http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25294.html Ikea commercial
http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24745.html Condom commercial
http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25481.html He he he he
http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25454.html This one cracked me up..seriously I am corny...:-)
http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25460.html my old country Romania commercial..:-)
Well there is tons more, but those were some I found funny. Here is the link
http://veryfunnyads.com/Ahhh! Sunday morning. Waking up alone, checking e-mails, thinking what could comfort your body’s muscle aches. Falling asleep was painful, the muscle ache in my arms and shoulders were hard to deal with. Couldn’t find a comfy spot...hm...sometimes a phone call could make the whole thing just perfect. Miss it.
***Trey Songz has a weird looking, in a non attractive way of deforming his face when he sings.
So I sent out resumes, checked some stuff online, my mind is constantly busy. Money, car, health, family and then my failure in relationships.
Then I get up and wash dishes, made brfst, ate, made coffee and went back down to my dungeon chillin with vh1 Soul, sipping on a nice cup of coffee and swallowing oj like mad crazy.
After this I shall go and get dressed and go to home depot (he he he My Mickey is showing my Diva how much she loves her, they do this neck kissing, poking, love dance :-)...cute)
So I got to clean my garage gutters today. Absolutely essential. It is getting colder each day. I got 21 bags of leaves yesterday, 2 weeks ago it was like 10. My two trees are stubbornly green still. Each tree on the street is either bald or extremely golden. Not mine. Green baby, green full of hope, like it wants to tell me something.
I miss my grandmother like crazy.
I miss Spotty and Cassidy awful. I felt love from them. I gave them love.
It seems that everything I love leaves me. I should get used to it. I don’t even know why I bother sometimes. Call me a crazy green leaf tree.
So. I am going to do my stuff and then I continue.
I didn’t come back. ...
Tuesday, the 20th. Day was busy and boring at the same time. I am still in this mood, not sure what will happen now. Day is over, starting to walk to the bus station.
Walking...train crossing arms lower... have you ever noticed that they are made of hollow plastic? There is a piece of wood at the end to give the image of wood covered by plastic.
Bus is late
I missed all my trains, 6:01pm, 6:07pm...sigh. I need ticket. It is 6:06 pm going to get the ticket from machine. Receipt? Yes. What shall I do for the next 30 min?
6:10pm Making the cell call.
The tv screens show the next train is at 6:32pm
Sitting, adjusting headset
Woman comes by to flirt with the guy next to me, also asking him if the announcement was Bridgeport track 2.
I get up and run down.
Run.......Steps.........slip on stupid plastic welcome mat.......
Door slam in front of me....
The conductor is sticking his head out....running towards him....
He said “You are TOO LATE!”
Train is not moving, he had enough time to open the door, he wouldn’t. It took off finally.
I stood there, alone...not sure ..if it was 1 or 5 or 10 min. trains came and went. I was just standing there frozen.
This is my life!
I am too late or too early for everything.
God! I need to pull myself together. Is it raining or am I crying? Can’t tell.
Train comes. Full! Standing! I start writing.
She is on the train again. Blonde, blue eyes, long skinny face, horse teeth type. She is looking again. Please! Let her find what she needs. For the last couple of times she constantly asked me the time every 3 min then she started stretching her long neck even longer to look in between suits on the train. He is here tonight, I can tell her eyes change from panic to tranquility, love breaths through her eyes and blushing takes the color of an autumn apple. I think her hairends are dancing, she is so happy.
He pushes me as he machete’s his way through people to get to her.She is happy, he is normal, no changes on his face.
2 young ladies with luggage and babies are standing, not one white collar suit would get up to offer their seats or comfort the kids. I wish I could sit so I could stand up and let them sit....sigh.
God! I am soo cold.
Women in my life are the bad chromosomes on the chain of Katie’s DNA.
I need to be numb.
I want to punch the ceiling of this train. I want to feel something other then this everyday pain.
My knee is fucked up, bad, my left leg muscle feels like I had a bad cramp and it is the pain after the cramp.
My left side of my upper torso is rock solid. Guessing scar tissue.
I think my lung tumor is back.
My spine is in constant pain.
I am tired, yet I can’t stop. Why? Why? Do I fight this? Why do I always have to put my body to the limits?
....no matter how bad I feel, I think of her and the thought of you gives me strength, somehow. I give anything to see your sexy look, the way you looked at me...Miss it, Want it. You are so gorgeous!.....
Is it reality or a dream?
Is this my heart or ice?
Your breathing hard
it’s so cold....I am cold
I can feel your fire burning
I am so cold.....cold
your pulse is beating my lips
I don’t want to mess this up
Your breasts are pressed against mine
I am cold...it’s an ice block
You are moaning....my lips...your skin
heat...pulse...neck...eyes...
Is it possible? Melting?.....
Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!
At the end of my last trip I did have the pleasure to b e in the presence of Fantasia. She smiled and winked at me, I believe my neck chain always does the job :-) and the fact that I am extremely cute. I sat and didn’t want to go overboard with excitement, but the time I tamed my happiness, the flight attendant offered her a first class seat, all I had her say to me is Excuse me....sweet sounds.
I guess I am done.
